Kids on Planes
Hey, friend. If you find yourself on this post you’ve likely struggled with trip-related anxiety due to kids. Welcome. You’re in a group called every [sane-ish] parent. As a fellow parent aspiring daily to sanity, I’d like to provide the disclaimer that I don’t have all the answers. I have, however, experienced the comfort of community and shared experiences with fellow amateur parents who are just doing their best to do their best. Here’s my story. I hope it helps you as you prepare for your next family trip!
First, a personal confession.
A season of my life many years ago had me traveling from the Northeast to the Southeast US every weekend for about 9 months. I was a driven, untethered young professional and I had zero (and I mean Z-E-R-O) experience with young children. No qualified siblings, no babysitting jobs growing up. Nada. My routine was the same every week: 50-60 hours of extremely conversational and collaborative work, flight on Friday evening, flight on Sunday night, rinse and repeat. My flights were my unwinding time. On one such trip I found myself seated next to a young father flying solo with his very fresh infant daughter. Am I painting a picture for you? Do you see where this is going? He was completely out of his league, and his adorable little one could smell his fear. Desperately, he began looking to me for some assistance. First of all, I had no idea how to help him and second I was indignant at the idea he’d considered me, his seatmate, somehow responsible for the “issue” of his inability to contain his child. How hard could it be? Not only did I not help him, but I huffed and puffed the whole way home while he frantically dug through the bag his wife had packed for him trying to find anything to soothe his little one.
Listen, I’m cringing just like you as I write these words. Wherever you are, sir, I imagine your child is now off to college, making the world a better place, and I should be asking your forgiveness and advice.
The point of this embarrassing little anecdote is that there are a plenty of former me’s flying these days. The very first observation I have about traveling with children, especially if a flight is involved, is let everyone around you carry their own luggage - including their feelings. Be gracious with yourself, and with them. Kids are awesome and hilarious, and a stranger feeling inconvenienced by kids’ [understandable] reactions to new experiences will learn soon enough about the joys of parenthood. Or grandparenthood. And they’ll eat plenty of crow eventually.
Now, let’s talk strategy.
Setting the stage
I like to talk about the trip before the trip. A lot. I can’t possibly overstate the benefit of this concept. Obviously every kid is different and every stage of their lives is different. In my experience though, most kids are paying attention way earlier than we give them credit for. I’ve found conversations about upcoming trips, even with very young kids, goes a long way. I’ve done this during car rides, regular playtime, or at the beginning of the week when I’m writing out the family’s schedule. If you use the Loveevery playkits, the Let’s Map it Out Routine Cards in the Helper Playkit has a card for packing a bag. Whatever your family’s routine looks like, packing a bag means going somewhere and it’s a helpful tool for setting the stage for an upcoming trip. Here’s another option for a similar product, or simply make your own! Depending on your child’s level of interest in the conversation, take it a step further and walk through the process of what’s going to happen (ex: how many days from now is the trip? will your child have to wake up earlier than normal or go to bed later than normal? what will they see that is new along the way?)
Planning ahead
Spending time with kids has taught me to expect the unexpected, and to know where all my emergency exits, fire escapes, and bathrooms are. Kind of kidding, but seriously I’ve found the more information I have about my airport, the better prepared I am with tools for the numerous situations that can arise. For example, on a recent trip with an infant I discovered my flight was impossibly delayed only after I’d checked my bags and made it through security. Not a second too soon, I discovered Minute Suites. After sorting out my new flight plan with the airline, I headed quickly toward my pod [reserved on my phone while I waited in line with the airline] and gave the precious little one in my party a quiet, private, climate controlled place to nap while I kicked my feet up and hydrated until it was time to board my new flight. Armed with that information, I’ve been able to recommend and use Minute Suites in flights since that one to avert meltdowns from children and adults alike.
Some other things to consider:
If your airport has multiple terminals, which terminal will you be flying out of?
Does your airline provide curbside baggage check?
What food options are available in your terminal or (if applicable) the 2 closest terminals to your departure flight?
Are there nursing pods available?
Knowing these things ahead of time will not guarantee your travel is seamless, but it will give you a leg up when something inevitably goes less than according to plan on the journey.
Another thing to think about is luggage. For such small people, kids do seem to require a pretty substantial amount of parafernalia. As often as possible, I try and ship things to my destination lodging. Hotels are generally pretty agreeable to this practice, but of course call ahead and talk to someone if you’d like the confirmation ahead of time. Also, keep in mind there are likely grocery stores and Targets wherever you’re traveling. When possible, I carve out a little time at the beginning of my trip to get settled and unpacked and make a list of things I need for the trip. Then I head to the closest supplier for said list and stock up. Whatever I didn’t use, I either take back with me, or if I’m staying in a vacation rental I leave the extra behind if it’s something like diapers, wipes, condiments, etc.
Thinking like a kid
We’ve all witnessed the traumatic meltdown of a kid who has been sitting in his stroller at the gate too long, or the one who has boarded the flight and just experienced what a pressure change at 10,000 feet feels like. What I’ve observed in my interactions with children is that they’re (brace yourself) just small human beings. I’m trying to imagine what it would be like for someone to 1) not explain anything to me 2) take me to a completely unfamiliar place 3) strap me into a seat and 4) not talk to me or tell me what’s going on for hours on end. I just can’t imagine that would go well. I’d probably want to speak to the authorities too, and I’d let everyone know about it! What do you do when your flight is delayed or you’re bored mid-air? You likely pull out your phone or a book or something to pass the time. Since toddlers [generally] can’t read and phone time is such a hard thing to balance while their brains are still developing, they need things that will help them pass the time, too. Here’s a list of all the things I’ve used to help pass the time with kids who are younger than 7:
Post it notes: Seriously. Easiest cleanup ever, and fun for the whole family. Buy a bunch of these and let them stick them EVERYWHERE. You’ll be amazed how long these can keep an audience captive.
Wikky Stix: For the kid who likes to build and create. Again - inexpensive, no mess, and you won’t miss them if one or two wander off during your journey.
Bath toys: Why? Because they have suction cups! Stick them to the window, your tray table, the wall beside your seat, anywhere, and let your kids go wild.
Stickers: Just maybe bring the paper and be mindful of the kind of stickers you buy. The puffy stickers are usually easy cleanup. Don’t make the flight attendants’ jobs any harder with these!
Coloring sheets: Crayola has a whole line of sheets that are no-mess with special ink that only shows up on their paper. They have marker and finger stamp options with so many different themes including Bluey, Disney, etc.
Fidget toys: This may be for you too, friend. I find myself playing with these on flights when I have some on hand, so they’re fun for the whole family.
Busy Books: These soft and engaging toys are so easy to bring on a flight and help with motor skills just as much as they do with keeping kids [and parents, and fellow passengers] happy and entertained. Their cousin the busy board is another fun crowd pleaser.
Most airlines allow for extra carryon baggage for families traveling with small children. Check the airline’s website before your trip to be prepared with what you can bring with your party based on your ticketing arrangement.
Once again, relax.
I may just be saying this to myself as I ramp up for some related travel soon, but the truth is, something is probably not going to go as expected on trips with kids…just like on trips without kids. I’ve noticed how often kids are looking to adults to see how to act, and I realize trips are a perfect opportunity to demonstrate resilience, problem-solving, graciousness, and courage to the sweetest of audiences. You can do this, friend. Not only that, you can enjoy it. Even the hard parts.
Happy Travels!
